笨蛋

我真的不应该
真的真的不应该
不应该再去看他的blog
不应该再去看他写给我的宣言
或许我从头到尾都没有把他抽出我的心
很努力地去忘记他
很努力地去认识别的人
可是他仍然在我脑里徘徊
我和他是两个不同世界的人
彻底不了解对方
彻底不知道对方在想什么
曾经想过，或许这个只是一个休息站
曾经想过或下定决定不要再再回一起了
这样子不就更好吗？
很想和他聊天
很想和他见面
见到什么看到什么
都很想告诉他
可是，想了之后，才发觉
我们不是情侣了
我也没有必要告诉你些什么
免得大家关系变得更复杂
答应过自己，眼泪不再从我眼眶流出
可是我真的没办法控制
上msn都会故意看看你有没有上线
上游戏都会开friendlist看你有没有在
经过和你一样的character都会注意名字
电话里的所有关于你的信息
我仍然收着
明明知道已经过去了
可是还是不删除
自己facebook删除了你
我会故意开我姐的去看你
以为一切已经过去了
以为那次是我最后一次哭
以为我可以面对朋友一切的安慰
这些都是我骗自己的理由
我真的很笨
我真的真的很笨很愚蠢
很希望你能常常更新blog
想要知道你在想什么
可是明明就知道你是个很懒的人
我还是彻底放下你比较好
这样子我们都会好过些
我，依然那么想念你
我是一个笨蛋

Take A Breath

Had dinner in Sushi Zanmai just now
thought going there for buying present for my teacher and brother
but lack of time
dinner is more important as i'm starving
ate my sashimi again...WAKAKAKA
xian bought a cute and humour story book name "Diary of a wimpy kid"
i love the way he begin the story
i laugh all way round...HAHAHAHAHHA
and so embarrass because i sitting in front of those chef
this book will be the 1st book that i read
xian,i'm waiting for your book~~!
and i'm bringing it along my trip..HAHA
after our dinner,we sit at starbuck waiting for time flies
then something happened.....I STARTED TO CAMWHORE..=0=

biting my fingers?

EEEEEE...

.........

P/S:Do i look like a panda?

PP/S:there's many more...but...i need to go to sleep as it's 1.34a.m right now..tata

The End of the Story

Finally sms him today after i wake up
cried for an hour
when i stopped, miin called me again
i cried again
but it makes me feel better after the call
and at that time,
i don't know where to start the story
keep say don't know and cry
finally know the way to make me feel better
is a call from the friend that cares for you
things happen so sudden huh?
i was wearing the ring yesterday
and today i kept it inside the deepest place in drawer
i blocked his facebook and i just delete the album of me and him
i tried my best to block him in my mind today
i didn't check on my phone,i tried not to be sad when i see his name in my message
i tried not to be emo when xian mention him
but right now,there's a problem pop out in my mind
i would solve it tomorrow during my exam in my mind
what he told me maybe is true
i can find the better one
the reason i decided to break up :
i)He 90% mentally not with me,physically with me is useless
ii)Our personalities is different as i realize earlier
iii)I wish i'm not the one who work for a relationship,but the other part do it
iv)As what he told me,he's tired and now i'm tired
v)I don't want to make him hurt again as i hurt him twice in a circumstances that i didn't realize
these maybe a stupid reasons
but i really feel like giving up
my heart is numb as my brain is tired
physically tired and tired to cry
tired to think what to talk when i open conversation box in msn, open text message in phone, think something to talk when we meeting each other or on phone
the story we wrote quite sweet and nice
i love the story and wish to continue but unluckily it end like this
this will be the last emo post i post about him at here
hope he'll find the girl he love in the future
================THE END================

原谅我

请不要分了以后 还记得亲吻过的承诺
你的永久 已不属於我
默默低头 那时我很多 话哽在喉咙

你的笑你的快乐 或许我爱太多想太多
我能感受 他比我适合
爱放了手 我伪装冷漠 比你先说分手

请原谅我 原谅我不成熟
不爱你是藉口 好让你离开我

请原谅我 好想自私将你占有
你的寂寞就给我承受 换你过更好的生活

请不要分了以后 还记得亲吻过的承诺
你的永久 已不属於我
默默低头 那时我很多 话哽在喉咙

你的笑你的快乐 或许我爱太多想太多
我能感受 他比我适合
爱放了手 我伪装冷漠 比你先说分手

请原谅我 原谅我不成熟
不爱你是藉口 好让你离开我

请原谅我 好想自私将你占有
你的寂寞就给我承受 换你过更好的生活

爱过恨过哭过也笑过
亲吻过你的脆弱
其实我比谁都要懦弱

原谅我 必须假装爱错
别让时间逗留 我怕说不出口

原谅我 没有解释太多 心痛
别无所求 彻底忘了我
爱原来有舍得

我爱过 我才懂

Independent

I should set him free
shouldn't make him be with me anymore
but i not sure i still can keep this in mind when i wake up tomorrow morning
i will keep this feel when i wake up tomorrow morning
we just have a nice conversation
we said out everything in our mind
what we feel,what we think
maybe i'm the one should let go
because of me,he cannot have freedom
because of me,he use all his energy thinking thinking and thinking
i will be more independent
see when i'm brave enough to say it out
and forward message to all my friends
change my status in facebook
delete our photos in facebook
delete our photos in my comp,my phone,my camera
i think i will do this when i'm ready to have a big cry
when i'm alone lock in room
and make sure no one will disturb me
wait for my reply..........
i will make it fast

Crazy~!

Yesterday i was deciding whether where to sit
Who help us buy the ticket of concert
finally,we decided to sit either L16,L4.L5
then we start finding people to help us buy tickets
Chloe helping us also *Thanks alot Chloe*
then at last,yinyin help us buy our ticket this morning
i can't fall asleep
whenever i close my eyes,my SJ prince pop out
this concert recall me of the MTV awards
how i crazy run all over the KLIA to find their bus
how i met and stand in front of YeSung thinking of who is him
wearing hat and specs
how i see kyu wave bye bye hand in front of me
oh dear...i'm totally in crazy situation

i dreams about my Kyu also
really speechless about it
the dream was like........
"I'm in airport again..waiting them in the arrival hall
and Leeteuk,heechul,eunhyuk etc. came out
but i refuse to run and chase over them
i just wait and wait my kyu to come out
suddenly i saw a guy looks like kyu
i just walk beside him and started talk with him
then fans started to run over there
i was like putting a protect hand
and not allow them to stay close to my kyu
suddenly someone push me and i hugged kyu"

the dream was like this
can consider as a sweet dream
but what a embarrass dream??!!!
I HUG KYU?!!! *face red*

at the end of this post,
i would like to thanks yinyin for helping me buy tickets
THANKS YINYIN~!!!! *big chu for you*

❤..❤..❤..❤

My hubby gave me a ring as present

the ring i tend to buy it for a long time

he bought it for me :)

1st time he's doing this 

and my sister told me

he bought it the day before we broke up

then the second day we break up

they was like...speechless

then on the day he give me

he forgot to bring the ring out 

and went back take it

how sweet is him

how cute is him

thanks for the ring

i will wear it on my hand 

i will take care it

because it's a gift from you.

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

I never blog about my tuition friend

here is their naive,crazy,mature look

this photo took on yesterday when we finish our lunch

and i just buy them ice-cream as their dessert 

there still 12 days for us to see each other

after this tuition,we don't know we still got chance to meet each other

i'm glad to same class for how many year with you all

i'm glad to bully the craziness girl in my class

chat about suju and dongbang with the naive one

met the Taiwanese and learn Taiwan thing from her

maybe it's too early for me to post this

but early or late,i'm still posting it

just appreciate the days we left to be together.

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

tomorrow i'm having my 1st intervensi exam

till now i still haven start my revision

my exam going to fail soon

and sorry to my hubby

i never ever ask help from someone on my studies again

i'll just ask them to solve my studies problems

no friend teaching on my again

never ever

P/S : i will hate integration because it causes many argument for me!! 

Just do the best

Just do the best for SuperJunior Super Show 2 concert
no matter the concert is on or off
as long as there's hope,we'll grab it
the reason i join it because i hope to give them a perfect and memorable concert
and it maybe a good experience for me
i hope the concert will still on
feel like exam is already not my business
my mind just all about superjunior concert
it's terrible..my 1st intervensi exam is on monday
how am i going to do my exams as i haven do my revision
maybe i'll do it on this weekend and finish up
Just do the best for everything~!
and everything needs perfect...
MYSJ committee team Hwaiting~!

True or Fake?

The 3rd miracle had came into our world
I really stubborn on whether should believe or not
it seems real because i believe on them(O,K,Y)
but i scare to believe it because i'm afraid to face the disappointment
maybe everything will be confirm by tomorrow night

i'm stunned
stunned and questioning myself
is these true?
should i believe?
are there any chance for us to create a Sapphire Blue Sea for SJ?
i still can't believe it.....until the day come
i'll be calm until tomorrow night

Last question for me,
SHOULD I BELIEVE?

☆ 10.01.2010

Today went out to Mid Valley to do our last aural test
be day before i quarrel with my dad
and because of this aural test,i went out to 2nd day without my dad's 100% permission
we like very awful to record everywhere
so we just quite like record quietly and secretly
we saw a chocolate fair there and wedding fair
when we walk in the chocolate fair,the smells really nice
the chocolate fair reminds me that valentine's day is coming soon!!
i wait people give me present xD
around 6 something,we separate
i follow miin and xian go eat dinner
can you believe that i ate my dinner at 6 something?
Sushi King is our dinner
the sashimi there quite ok
really addicted into sashimi
after the dinner,we go back home
Hope my last aural test can get a good marks
although i started to hate the attitude of the teacher.

A week

A week is not enough for me

24 hour per day is not enough for me

A non-stop tuition is tiring for me

i miss the relax life

it's just a beginning of the year

i have 10 more months to go

how i'm gonna to survive

this year for me is a bad year

i really dislike it

everything pushing me

i feel like tiring

luckily not stressful

as long as my parents didn't scold me

and the time for me to sit in front of computer getting less

it's a good thing

i get scolded by my teacher on thursday

the 1st time i cry badly in class,in this school

it was bad

but what she said i was totally agree

i'm a selfish person

i won't think about other person

and i'm getting immature as what she said

or i'm too lazy to think that much

and just follow my heart

and now only realize my heart is that selfish

Fai is going back to India tomorrow

i'll miss him

Xian,please don't jealous that i say i'll miss him

how often will we go out after gloria and Fai leave M'sia?

i'm busy,Miin going back to her studies,Hau and sis working

seems everyone is busying with their own business

i will miss everyone of you

xD

how i'm going to survive on Sunday?

a relax and Sunday

maybe i'll finish up my tuition homeworks

what best fit lines,non linear equation,linear equation

STUPID x x GRAF~!I HATE GRAF!

Doll

I feel like i'm a doll

no matter in friendship or relationship

when people needs me,they'll just pull me there

i help them finish their works,they just throw me aside

when people feels like talking to me,they'll talk to me

when they want to ignore me,i'll become transparent

when is my turn to talk,they'll ignore and continue their conversation

when they feel like want to care me,they'll care for me

but when i'm hurt,no one be there for me

when they feel like friend with me,they'll stick with you every moment

when they unfriend you,you'll be alone

maybe i think too much,but this is what i feel for me

the usage of me

maybe not writing about you,but others

don't ever treat your friend/bf or gf like a doll

they're human being,they have feelings

they do know how to feel everything

it's sad to be a doll

What a bad day

I was excited to go to school this morning
because it rains and i manage to skip the assembly
then the period before recess is English
happy to see that our last year English teacher continue teach us
but because of seats arrangement
Siew Hong and the teacher argue
it's bad..on the first day
my mood goes down
the schools gave us our textbooks
it heavy and "heavy"
and there's some books missing

after school, i went back and took a shower, eat my lunch
and i go tuition
i dislike people rush me
and my mum did it
i was like dislike it
plus i'm in a bad condition
oh god
while i'm walking in the area
three koreans asked me something
they were finding their tuition centre over there
i thought they were in the same centre with me
but it wasn't
luckily i met one of my teacher and he show them the way
during the tuition,with no reason,i'm half dreaming
and i'm feeling uncomfortable
before the class end,teacher gave us new year present
thanks Miss Janaki

i like it so much
and it looks like chocolate,feel like biting it..hahaha
brought some exercise book from my tuition friends
and they gave some of them to me
thanks Lai Leng & Ching Wen
it's very kind,both of you
i appreciate it very much

New Tiring Life

School reopen tomorrow
can't describe my feelings now
because of some personal problem
and causes me no mood to finish up my holiday homework
nevermind, just let it be
i feel like can't wait for tomorrow
talking in class...sleep in class...ignore teacher...play in class...
but another feel was like...
OH NO~school again..clip hair...homeworks..exams..
honestly,i miss schooling during holiday
i miss my friends
i miss the guys
i miss the girls
i miss everything
but form 5 will be tough,tiring,boring,suffering life
hope i can get through it...

and for my personal problem
i really feel like giving up
no strength
i need to control my emo,control my tears
when going out with friends
i'm immature to solve these problems
now i'm thinking of should i accept him if he ask me to be couple with him again
i was like standing in the middle
don't know should answer yes or no
heartache until i have no feelings
no feeling through all these
i miss him,i love him,i care about him,i wanted to know all about what he's thinking
but what for?he seems gave up
one step forward.....?
face to face solve problem.........?
i have no time to do all these
having tuition after school everyday until 5pm
he is going back to uni life on 18/1
time is tickin fast
maybe we shall stop our relationship
maybe friends will be better due to his decision on 29/12/2009
OR
continue waiting?

my January schedule is totally full
Monday, Wednesday, Thursday-English tuition 3pm-5pm
Tuesday-Add maths tuition
Friday-piano class 1pm-2pm,English tuition 3pm-5pm
Saturday-English tuition 10am-3pm
what a tiring January

Last & The First Day

Went tuition from the morning until afternoon
back home then went out at 8pm
have our dinner
and we climb to the mountain of Bukit Jalil
saw just see fireworks there
it's nice actually
but someone purposely stepped on my feet and it bleeds
the stupid "india" guy
and he brought me to kill a level 40 big "boss" inside the online game
i get killed and he runaway and left my body lying on the floor
what the hell...damn him~!
and something is missing today
i'm happy that i spent the last and the 1st day with my friends
but if he come along,it will be perfect
and i finally manage to meet the only guy i never met before in this gang
he really looks like giant especially when he walk with us
all of us looks like dwaft
still new to him
all i know is...i've met a giant today
tomorrow will going to 1-Utama
just purposely go there for fun
spent my 1st day of 2010 outside
it's 2.13am right now
gonna get bath and sleep soon
good nights to everyone
HAPPY NEW YEAR,2010